The College of Central Florida Vintage Farm Campus at 4020 SE Third
Ave. has been captured by a group of rogue animals. The takeover occurred
overnight, and the staff are struggling to regain control.

The following animals have been identified as defectors: two thoroughbred
horses, a house cat, and a goose. They are being led by a feral donkey of
unknown origin. The staff at Vintage Farm suspect that he is DK, a pet who
went missing in early March.

The barn was recently rented to a couple for their wedding ceremony. Their
festivities were foiled by the ferocious farm animals.

“We were reading vows when the donkey suddenly came through the door,”
said the bride. “I don’t know how it opened the door.”

The animals wreaked havoc on guests and caterers.

“Before I could do anything, the goose started attacking my cousin,” the
groom stated. “I didn’t really want to invite him anyway.”

The animal gang refused to give them a full refund.

When asked about the incident, Vintage Farm released a statement: “For our
students’ safety and our own, we will comply with the demands of DK and his
posse.”

Part of the animal’s’ demands were that 80% of the plants grown for the
agricultural courses would have to be forfeited to the animals.

One student said that she is undeterred from getting an A.S. with a
specialization in Equine Exercise Physiology.

“I am pretty certain that most horses are not like the [three] palominos.
Something tells me that they are being influenced by the donkey.”